Now when the people saw that Moses delayed coming down from the mountain, the people gathered together to Aaron, and said to him “Come, make us gods that shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him”. And Aaron said to them, “Break off the golden earrings which are in the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me” – Exodus 32:1-2.

There’s a subtle yet critical difference between a leader who is respected and a leader who is simply liked. Many of us, especially as we step into new leadership roles, fall into the trap of managing our team’s approval rather than genuinely leading them.

While a positive relationship with your team is essential, building it on the foundation of pleasing people is a sure path to mediocrity.

We want to be seen as the “good boss,” the approachable manager who everyone loves. While a positive relationship with your team is essential, building it on the foundation of pleasing people is a sure path to mediocrity.

This was the case with Aaron, the priest. He sought to please the people rather than God; approving their idolatrous desire against God’s will. The contrast between Moses and Aaron was evident in the way they approached matters pertaining to God and the people. Moses was always firm, resolute, and decisive in his leadership of the Israelites whereas Aaron on the other hand was weak and indecisive – stamping the people’s desire, even though against God. He sought the approval of men rather than of God, costing Israel far more than they bargained for.

The Pleaser’s Trap 

The pleaser’s trap is a common one, and we’ve all been there. It manifests in many forms: avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation, letting a performance issue slide to avoid conflict, or making a popular decision that you know isn’t the best strategic move for the team, like Aaron. We might believe these actions are a form of compassion or team-building, but in reality, they erode trust and create a dysfunctional environment.

When a leader consistently avoids accountability, the team learns that results and standards are flexible.

When a leader consistently avoids accountability, the team learns that results and standards are flexible. The most ambitious members become frustrated, and the entire group’s potential stalls.

The True Leader

“I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary” – John 10:11

And He said, “Therefore I have said to you that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to Him by my Father”. From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” – John 6:65-67.

True leadership, in contrast, is not about just being a friend; it’s about being a compass.

A true leader provides clarity, direction, and accountability, even when it’s uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean being a tyrant. It means having the courage to make tough decisions, the conviction to stand by your principles, and the transparency to explain your reasoning. Christ was a typical example of such a leader whose example we are to follow.

The respect you earn from a team isn’t given because you make them happy. It is earned because they trust that you will always do what is right for the collective mission, even if it’s unpopular at the moment.

The respect you earn from a team isn’t given because you make them happy. It is earned because they trust that you will always do what is right for the collective mission, even if it’s unpopular at the moment.

The Shift

So, how do we make the shift from managing approval to leading people?

The path begins with a commitment to integrity and courage. Of the great leader, David, it is written: “So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands” – Psalm 78:72. Integrity always precedes and supersedes skills in being a true leader like David. In order to make the shift from managing approval to leading effectively, take note of the following: 

First, cultivate a culture of accountability by setting clear expectations and addressing performance issues promptly and fairly. Frame these conversations not as an attack, but as an opportunity for growth.

Second, be the example of the behavior you want to see. In the words of the Apostle Paul, “Imitate me just as I also imitate Christ” – 1 Corinthians 11:1.Christ also charged us to take His yoke upon us and learn of Him (Matthew 11:29). Show your team that you hold yourself to the same high standards you expect from them.

Finally, focus on building trust through consistency. Your team should be able to rely on your judgment and your principles, knowing that your decisions are based on what’s best for the long-term success of the mission, not just the mood of the day.

The most profound measure of a leader is not how much people praise them, but how much people grow under their guidance.

The most profound measure of a leader is not how much people praise them, but how much people grow under their guidance.

Stop worrying about being liked, and start focusing on being a leader who is respected, trusted, and true to the vision.

Are you ready to lead with courage instead of comfort?

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