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The concept of being marriageable may be relative – meaning that the conditions for being suitable for marriage may differ from person to person, culture to culture or region to region. No matter who you are or where you are from, there are standard biblical pointers to your marriageability as a young man or woman. The case of the first created man, Adam attests to this. God saw the need for a companion for Adam, having also seen his eligibility (even though he might not have been aware of it). And the LORD God said, “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).  

God’s Plan for You

It is no news that God has a beautiful plan for every creature of His – including you. He expressed this through the prophet Jeremiah: “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG). This is serious if you’re a child of God – having accepted Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour. This is the first fact that needs to be established. Expressing his excitement about God’s wonderful plan for him, the Psalmist wrote: “How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:17-18). Just like David, you need to be aware of the fact that God’s plan for you in every area of your life (including marriage) is precious. Knowledge of this places you at an advantage over any sense of low self-esteem or inferiority complex in life.

The Garbage in Garbage Out Principle

Having established the fact that God has a beautiful plan for your life, you need to know that you have a responsibility or role to play in bringing it to pass. Like the computer language ‘Garbage in garbage out’, life operates on the principle of sowing and reaping, and cause and effect. In determining whether you’re marriageable as a young person or not, what investments have you made in yourself to guarantee your marriageability? Being marriageable doesn’t happen automatically, you work it out by being deliberate about being the right person any young man or young woman would want for a lifelong spouse. You are not different from the content of your heart as revealed by king Solomon: “As he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you” (Proverbs 23:7). He also added: “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). If you build your life based on the wrong values, this can affect your chances of being marriageable, or at the most attract your kind to your life. Likewise, building your life based on the right values will help shape your life towards attracting the right people. 

Having established the fact that God has a beautiful plan for your life, you need to know that you have a responsibility or role to play in bringing it to pass.

Taking Responsibility

As earlier stated, you have a role to play to ensure your marriageability. Below are some important roles that could help you become marriageable.

Understand God’s Purpose for Your Life: Purpose simply means your reason for living. In being marriageable, it is very important to discover the purpose for which you were created. Life as a whole is more than marriage. Marriage is only an aspect of life. As for Adam, there was a clear understanding of his assignment before Eve came (Genesis 2:15).  As a single man or lady, you should first be preoccupied with finding God’s purpose for your life. This will influence your day-to-day decisions, associations, and pursuit in life. Once the matter of purpose is settled, it places you in a better position to best determine the kind of person you want to marry and the kind of home you’d want to build. On purpose David wrote, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (Psalm 139:16, NLT).  A clear definition of your life’s purpose will determine where your life is headed and it’s the first step in knowing how prepared you are for marriage.

Understand God’s Purpose for Marriage: When the first man woke up from sleep and found the wife given to him by God, he declared: “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man” – Genesis 2:23. It is obvious from Adam’s statement in the preceding scripture that he understood the companionship and complementary purpose that Eve’s coming would fulfill both in his life and in their marriage. What is your understanding of the purpose of marriage? A misconception of this will place you far from readiness for this great institution. Thinking that the purpose of marriage is just to have someone pay your bills, run errands, do chores for you, make babies or bear someone else’s name is a misconception of the purpose of marriage which indicates your lack of preparation for it. God’s purpose for creating marriage is far beyond these. 

Thinking that the purpose of marriage is just to have someone pay your bills, run errands, do chores for you, make babies or bear someone else’s name is a misconception of the purpose of marriage which indicates your lack of preparation for it.

Be a Person of Character: Charging his young son in the Lord, the Apostle Paul exhorted Timothy, “Let no one despise or think less of you because of your youth but be an example (pattern) for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity” (1Timothy 4:12 AMP). Character is not acquired but built by deliberate efforts over time. Developing the right character is inevitable in preparing for marriage. In Adam’s case, there were tests – of responsibility, working to care for the garden and naming all the animals God created (Genesis 2:15,19-20), and a test of obedience, to abstain from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:16-17) – before God could trust him with a wife. How responsible and obedient are you to God and the constituted authority over your life? The ministry of the Holy Spirit alongside the Word of God are key character molders. The word of God also charges the believer to be an example in good deeds of every kind and to let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching (Titus 2:7). Learning simple courtesies, building interpersonal relationship skills, being a person of integrity, developing the fruit of the Spirit, etc. are all important in your preparedness for marriage.      

Be a Person of Prayer: In preparing for marriage, prayer is inevitable. It is possible for your chances of marriageability to be truncated by the forces of darkness. Cases abound where certain evil patterns are established in individual’s lives and families to keep them from getting married. In other cases, demonic agents acting as spiritual spouses have subtly hindered many from getting married.  It is for this reason that we’re cautioned by the word of God to put on the whole armour of God in order to be able to stand against the wiles of the devil, and we’re encouraged to pray always (Ephesians 6:11,18). Knowing the effects of the marriage that fulfills God’s purpose against the kingdom of darkness, Satan’s ploys are massively deployed against the workability of this God-ordained institution. So, you must pray to avoid the pitfalls that Satan is likely to place on your marital journey. To buttress the importance of praying about everything, the Apostle Paul exhorts: “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6).

It is possible for your chances of marriageability to be truncated by the forces of darkness.

A Final Word

Are you trusting the Lord to be married, and to marry aright? Do not fret, only get preoccupied with God’s assignment for your life, God will take care of the things that pertain to you. To this Jesus said, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). Keep seeking God, live purposefully, and stay hopeful in God, and He will bring your spouse to you at the right time. Stay Blessed!