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Words are powerful. And they matter. Have you heard the idiom that says “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”?  It’s all well and good to be resilient against verbal attacks from an opponent but mine, words do injure. The injuries may not be seen physically but words can destroy someone. Or they could heal and inspire. The bible bears testimony to the power of the tongue when it says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Paul says “For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved” (Romans 10:10). James says it “is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts… it corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 5:5-6). The one sin that Jesus said will not be forgiven men – blasphemy against the Spirit (Matthew 12:31-32) – is committed with the tongue, so this matter deserves serious consideration. All tools get blunt with use, but Washington Irving said, “The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use.” The wise man added, “a gentle tongue breaks a bone” (Proverbs 25:15).

Another interesting fact about the tongue is that it can swing both ways – good and bad. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing” (James 3:9-10). As infinitely mighty as God is, he has chosen to be praised by this small member of our bodies. In fact, the Psalmist says, “from the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger” (Psalm 8:2).

When ‘The More, The Better’ Isn’t True

The numbers are incredible. Depending on who you consult, I gather that on the average, a person speaks anywhere between 6 and 11 million words per year. The range may be wide but even the lower end is much. When you do something that much, the tendency for something to go wrong is high. And the bible does say that, “When words are many, sin is not absent” (Proverbs 10:19). So, more words don’t mean more good. Instead, the more the words, the higher the likelihood that sin would be found in what one says. It could be a gaffe, a half-truth, a mistruth, an exaggeration, or an outright lie. When it comes to the use of the tongue, more isn’t better; the person who speaks more is more likely to sin. Jesus upped the ante when he said “men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Matthew 12:36). Imagine saying millions of words each year; how many would you have spoken over a lifetime? How many can you remember? If it was uttered carelessly, it is most likely you never made a mental note of it; how then do you account for it? The accounting isn’t just about curses uttered but careless and idle words. That calls for restraint.

I gather that on the average, a person speaks anywhere between 6 and 11 million words per year.

An Ill That Ails Us All

Because speaking is a universal act, the dangers that come with it are with us all. James says, “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check” (James 5:2). He also says that “no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 5:8). How easy is it for the lines between an innocent conversation and gossip to become blurred and you find yourself speaking evil about someone behind their back. Or you were so irked by someone’s misdemeanour and you momentarily lost your cool and uttered expletives that you shouldn’t. The tongue is always in use and the tendency for misspeak is high.

How easy is it for the lines between an innocent conversation and gossip to become blurred and you find yourself speaking evil about someone behind their back.

How to Tame the Tongue

The battle to keep our tongues from sin is a lifelong one. When James says that “no man can tame the tongue”, what then is the point of trying if it can’t be done. The point being made is that the matter of taming the tongue is beyond human willpower. We know however, that with God, all things are possible. How then do we tame the tongue?

1. Be Transformed by The Renewing of Your Mind: Jesus said, “the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). When you vigorously shake a bottle of water, it is water, and not wine, that will pour out. It is what is contained in a container that overflows from it. If foul words come from your mouth, there is no dispute about it; your heart is foul. It is out of the abundance of your heart that your mouth speaks. Where to begin after conversion is to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). When your mind is renewed by the Spirit and the Word, and you become filled with the fruit of righteousness, then good will overflow from you through your mouth. Also, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly” (Colossians 3:16). When you are rich in the word, it will overflow through your lips.

2.Pray: Pray for forgiveness for all your misspoken words. Pray for grace to keep your tongue under control. Someone has said, “Taste your words before you spit them out!” Be intentional about your words. Pray that as you are enriched with the word, you will know how to “teach and admonish one another with all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16). Wisdom is correct application. Here, it deals with knowing what to say; when to say it; and how to say it. It is not enough to just jump into a situation and begin to speak. What you are saying may be good, but it may not be the time and place to say it. You need God’s help with that. Pray for the tongue of the learned. Isaiah said, “The Lord God has given me the tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning; He awakens my ear to hear as the learned” (Isaiah 50:4). We have been commanded: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4). Once this instruction is not a part of your life, turn that commandment into a prayer, that God will bring your mouth in conformity with the demands of scripture. Pray the words of David’s prayer: “Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3).

3. Speak Less: Be “slow to speak” (James 1:19) is the ageless wisdom of scripture. We’ve already referenced Proverbs 10:19. It says, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Once your words are many, know for a certainty that sin is not absent, rather, it is present and awaiting its manifestation. The wise thing to do, the bible says, is to hold your tongue. Once you hold your tongue, you cut down the propensity to sin. This may run counter-intuitive to human reasoning, but therein is God’s wisdom. It is the prostitute that the bible says is “loud and defiant” (Proverbs 7:11). Loudness is not a virtue; it is a vice. You may tell yourself that you are outspoken, but there is a difference between speaking out in the face of evil and being loudmouthed – and you must find it. There is wisdom in speaking less: “He who guards his mouth, and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23); “Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own” (Proverbs 26:17). You preserve your own life when you learn to speak less. Isaiah says the servant of the LORD will “not shout or cry out or raise his voice in the streets (Isaiah 42:2). Jesus lived out this scripture in Matthew 12:15-21. Prove you are a servant of God by speaking less too.

4.Practice Speaking Words That Honour God: It is said that practice makes perfect. I earlier referred to Washington Irving who said “The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use.” Therefore, tame your tongue by training it to speak only what is helpful to others and glorifies God. “Lovers of God think before they speak” (Proverbs 15:28). Language is a learned act. All the unclean and unhelpful words you utter were learned; none of it is congenital. You can also unlearn them just like you learned them. Unlearning is part of the transformation that follows conversion. It comes about by the sanctifying work of the Spirit and the Word and your cooperation and obedience. This is one area where you can make God-inspired resolutions and see his power help you to keep them: “God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfil every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power” (2 Thessalonians 1:11).

You have been admonished to “let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). Before you speak, taste your words. If they are said to you, how will you feel? “Will my words give support, comfort, loving correction, hope or edification?” When you ponder before you speak, you will many times find that there was no need to speak at all. You may find that when you are with those you respect – your pastor or boss – you rarely have problems with wrong speech. It is when you are with those you do not esteem so much – a child at home, an employee, a subordinate, or a commoner in the street – that is when you lose it. You have need of practicing to show proper respect to all people. This is a long time lesson because sometimes you may lose the guard you have previously set over your lips before you realize it. Even when you fail, confess, ask for forgiveness and grace to grow in this area.

5. Speak With Faith: “I have believed; therefore I have spoken” (1 Corinthians 4:13; Psalm 116:10). What you do not know or do not believe, do not speak. One of the easiest routes into gossip and backbiting is to speak from a place of speculation: “I heard that …” if you are not certain, it is better to keep quiet. Once the damage is done, it is near impossible to undo. Never you think quietness is weakness; it is not. Someone has said the thing most difficult than unscrambling an egg is taking back misspoken words against someone. The damage is done and hard to undo.

Some of the unwanted things you experience may be self-spoken, self-fulfilling prophecies that you spoke over your life without realizing that the power of life and death are in the tongue.

For your own life too, you can be your own prophet. Some of the unwanted things you experience may be self-spoken, self-fulfilling prophecies that you spoke over your life without realizing that the power of life and death are in the tongue. It is not the strong that the bible says should declare their strength but rather the weak: “Let the weak say, ‘I am strong’” (Joel 3:10). They know they are weak; but instead of reinforcing that, they are to declare strength over themselves. Believe it and speak into existence. There are mountains that can only be moved by your speaking to them. Jesus said, “For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith” (Mark 11:23, my italics). “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech” (1 Peter 3:10).

6. Do Not Speak with Self-Adulation: It is unwise, makes for unpleasant sound bites and is frankly distasteful. Yet, self-adulation seems to flow naturally for some people. It is a display of pride and what God does to the proud is to oppose them (James 4:6). You don’t want to have God as your opponent. Instead, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).