Leadership growth is rarely glamorous.

Because leadership is not a crown you wear, it’s a cross you carry.

 It’s not just about titles, platforms, or influence. It’s about becoming, and becoming is costly.

Leadership is not a crown you wear, it’s a cross you carry.

Over the years, I’ve observed that the journey of leadership often comes wrapped in seasons of stretching, pruning, and refining. Christ exemplified both the pains and gains of leadership as we’re charged to follow in His steps:

‘For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth”; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously’ – 1 Peter 2:21-23.

While the rewards of growth are undeniable, the pains are unavoidable.

By His willingness to face the pains, Christ modeled the greatest leadership of all time. His leadership growth was clearly revealed in Scriptures – from a twelve-year-old boy engaging the teachers of the law in the synagogue to the servant leader of the twelve disciples, and becoming the Head of the Church. He is indeed our example in this regard.

And while the rewards of growth are undeniable, the pains are unavoidable.

So if you’re truly called to lead — and not just to perform — you will have to grow. And growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone.

The Pains of Leadership Growth

1. The Pain of Self-Confrontation

Real leadership growth begins with looking in the mirror — not pointing out of the window.

You will have to confront your insecurities, blind spots, fears, and inconsistencies. Leadership growth will expose your inner life before it expands your outer reach.

Leadership growth will expose your inner life before it expands your outer reach.

“Before you lead others, leadership will demand that you first lead yourself.” A clear biblical example is the Apostle Paul who was the lead Apostle to the Gentiles. Paul lamented his inability to keep the law even with great human efforts: “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin” (Romans 7:24-25).After his self-confrontation, Paul found help, mercy and grace in Christ Jesus.

2. The Pain of Isolation

There will be seasons when vision will separate you. Not everyone will understand your pace, your values, or your priorities. Even Christ had times when some of His disciples left Him as He progressed towards fulfilling the will of God for humanity: “From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more” (John 6:66).

You may be misunderstood, doubted, or even ignored — not because you’re wrong, but because you’re growing.

“Growth is lonely, but it is also liberating.”

3. The Pain of Accountability

As you grow, more eyes will be on you. You won’t have the luxury of casual compromise.

“Growth demands responsibility. You don’t just carry a title — you carry trust.”

You’ll be held to higher standards, asked harder questions, and expected to model what you teach. Christ was very bold to ask the Jews to convict Him of sin – “Which of you convicts Me of sin?…” – John 8:46a. Indeed, none of them could accuse Him of any sin. This is accountability! Paul’s letter to the Thessalonian Christians also revealed a leader’s life of accountability – “You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe” – 1 Thessalonians 2:10.

“Growth demands responsibility. You don’t just carry a title — you carry trust.”

4. The Pain of Delayed Gratification

Leadership growth often means planting seeds without instant fruit.

You’ll invest in people who won’t appreciate it. You’ll sow into systems that take time to respond. You’ll sacrifice while others seek comfort. Christ endured the sufferings on the path to fulfilling God’s plan for man because of the joy that was set ahead of Him (Hebrews 11:2-3), and He is now seated at the right hand of the Father and given a name that is above all others (Philippians 2:9-11).

“You can either choose comfort or growth — but rarely both.”

The Gains of Leadership Growth

For every hidden pain, there is a visible gain — and each one is worth it.

1. Influence that Lasts

True growth leads to trust-based influence, not manipulation or hype. You lead because you’re credible, not just because you’re charismatic. Today, you and I are the gains of the pains Christ endured as our standard leadership growth model.

2. Character that Carries Weight

Your leadership won’t collapse under pressure, because it’s built on integrity, not image. Growth makes you durable, not just visible. We find this truth both in the life of Christ and the Apostles – pure and uncontaminated character that stood them out both in their time, and today their character legacies live on.

3. Legacy Beyond the Moment

You begin to raise others, not just raise your voice. You stop living for applause and start living for impact. The pains of Christ and the Apostles have truly become their legacies today. We are inspired by their lives of sacrifice and dedication towards advancing the Kingdom among men. We are the fruit of their tireless labour!

“The highest reward of leadership is not followers — it’s fruit.”

4. Alignment with Purpose

Growth helps you understand why you’re really here. It moves you from hustling for attention to stewarding a divine assignment. It was for this reason that Christ refused to yield His head to a temporary crown (John 6:15).

Final Thought

Leadership growth is not for the faint-hearted — but it is for the future-minded.

The pain is real, but so is the reward. You may cry in secret, but you’ll build in strength. You may be stretched, but you will be sustained.

So, if you feel the pressure — don’t back down. Lean in.

You’re not breaking.

You’re becoming.

Leadership growth is not for the faint-hearted — but it is for the future-minded.

Let nothing stop your growth friends. The world is waiting for your leadership to mature.

If this resonated with you, I invite you to reflect:

Where is leadership stretching you right now — and what is it building in you?

Share your growth story, drop your thoughts in the comments and tag a fellow leader who needs this reminder.

Let’s keep growing — pain and all.

Because in leadership, your becoming is just as important as your doing.